Tag Archives: inspiration

Bravery thru words…

So I’m driving home from work today and the Sara Bareilles song “Brave” comes on the radio. I have heard the song several times and didn’t think much about it till tonight. I turned it up as loud as I could before I thought my speakers would blow (you are welcome Dad) and just lost myself in the words. Which ironically is what this piece is about. Words… words are said everyday without knowing sometimes how they are going to come out of our lips, how they will affect someone, or how we are able to formulate the sentence in our brain and heart.

This is a verse from her song
“You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way words do
And they settle ‘neath you skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you…

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave”

Is there a correlation between how brave someone is and what they actually will speak about? What would you say if you had absolutely no restraint, repercussions yes but every choice of words had absolute meaning? I don’t know if I am brave enough to actually speak the words that I think half of the time… not so much out of fear that they will harm someone but out of fear that I won’t be understood the way I feel…. I know we have all experienced a time when we are sitting in front to or next to a stranger, family member, enemy, or lover and have held our tongue because of the fear of not knowing how we will be perceived. Can we freely formulate exactly what we want to say to be understood from our heart and mind…The words we speak should be indications of what we feel on the inside the fear, the love, the strength, the bravery.

“And since your history of silence
Wont do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?”

So here is my thought and challenge to my you …..
“say what you wanna say,
and let the words fall out,
honestly I just wanna see you be brave”

Thank you Sara Bareilles for this song and the lyrics!!! Love it!!!!!

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Simple Connections

Simple connections
How can one feel so much emotions for any one passion, any one person or any one thing so instantly…. Traces of those existences stay with you for a very long indeterminable amount time. Beyond the pain, beyond being lost in time, beyond lost in the ruble of a physical displacement, the things often times been thrown away like a simple piece of trash… The memory still remains… Remains in our heart… the mind and most fortunate and unfortunate place is in the very depth of our soul…

Things, people, places all come and go and after a simple connection made thru the most random moments it all comes rushing back to you before you even know it… You can’t stop it, you try to change your minds subject, your souls very own reaction to the memory but it’s too late. It’s there sitting in front of you like a human being… Starring at you telling you it’s okay to remember me, think about me, dream of me… Looking at you as if you can get up and walk away from it all.. But unlike a inanimate object you can’t walk away it’s there traveling following you like a shadow but its not behind you it’s in you, deep inside.

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dont feel good still getting to the gym..Day 5

I don’t feel good today and haven’t been feeling good for a few days now. I am sure it is a combination of some major lack of sleep lately and going and going and going! But every second was worth it! I have only gone thru two boxes of kleenex, a package of halls, and half way thru my z pack from the doc! 🙂 Even though I have been feeling really crappy I have made myself go to the gym! I got in really great workout late last night and one this morning which is probably why I almost have to roll out of bed cuz my abs are so sore! HaHa that’s the best kind of sore tho when you have pushed your poor little muscles!! I probably wont be able to sit up tomorrow morning but the rolling method works just as good! HAHA And I am determined to get my body right ASAP!! SO if I have to be sore and struggle to get out of bed then that is what it takes!!

and I leave you with a quote from Oprah…”Where there is no struggle, there is no strength!” -Oprah

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Grateful and thankful…Post 36

So I wasn’t feeling well yesterday and I am still not feeling well but I wanted to stop for a second and try to put together a small list of things I am so very thankful for this holiday season! Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that make us stop, pause and remember all of the things in our lives that we have been blessed with. While I am grateful and thankful for things every moment of my life this holiday makes me really say exactly what I am grateful and thankful for. I make myself think about all the things that I am so honored to have and be apart of that others don’t have.. Its humbling, encouraging and makes me want to live every day to the fullest. SOOOOOOOOOOOO without further ado, in no particular order, here is my list for now…(it grows and grows with every breath I take) …

I am thankful and so very grateful for…
~My Mom and Daddy who have given much, encourage always, and support to infinite and beyond J!
~My brothers and sisters who never cease to amaze me in the love, support and laughter we all share!
~My family that have stuck by me thru my many ups and downs no matter the depth or height!
~The amazing doctors and physical therapists who refused to give up on me!
~My personal strength!
~My puppy Maxwell!
~My never ending tenacity to get up every day take a shower ,and say I will push thru whatever my hips have to offer !
~People who call me beautiful
~My new car, whose name is yet to be finalized options are Blanche or Ali the altima!
~God because He has ordered every one of my steps even when I wasn’t sure what they are He knows!
~The passion people have for life!
~My home!
~The opportunity to travel and work with my extended family!
~The ability to love and be loved !
~My dvr!
~My creativity!
~Discovering what this next year has for me!
~Appreciating the beauty in the small things!
~The patience I have been taught over the last 10 years of my life!
~The possibility of jobs!
~My amazing set of friends who never cease to amaze me at the support and love they give no matter how near or far they might be!!!!
~And lastly… I am so very thankful that after basically four years I can walk, run, leap, drive, and the most important one of all DANCE with my own two hips basically pain free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Can he handle it…Post 34

So once again I have been going back and forth about writing this entry because it hits really close to home but I cannot escape the idea of it from my daily thoughts so here it goes……There is a movie called ‘Love and Other Drugs” which just came out on demand cable if you are a time warner cable customer but anyways.. This movie hit me so hard. My friend Amy and I rented it one night. After we got the greatest dinner we popped it in the dvd player. I wasn’t sure what the story line was about but I knew that it probably somehow involved Love and Drugs, little did I know that this movie had a TON of Lovin and a TON of drugs all legal of course! I do have to admit if you wish to watch a movie were people are fully clothed then this is not your movie of choice but regardless the story line is amazing… I am not going to give away the movie plot incase you want to see it but the part that is relatable to my life was towards the end of the movie. Anna Hathaway is the main actress in the movie and she has a medical condition which affects every aspect of her life. I mean EVERY aspect. So to jump a ton of the plot there is a part were she is speaking to the guy, Jamie, and the conversation is getting intense between the two because she is explaining how she can’t ask him to stay with her and be there when she knows she needs a lot of help. And he says to her but you aren’t asking me, I am telling you that I will be there regardless. She then continues to argue with him going back and forth, and she hits him with this comment… “I am going to need you a lot more than you are going to need me.” And he says its okay and then says “Instead of us going places I will be carrying you so we can go.” Now to the average person you might think awww that was sweet, well for someone who has thought those same thoughts it hit me like a ton of bricks. I normally don’t cry in movies at all but this time was way different..

When I was down, not the first time but this last time for 6 years, the worst time. I had some of those same thoughts. I knew exactly those words that the characters in the movie were saying. At one time or another I think I actually had that conversation in my head… my emotions playing both the actor and actresses roles. When I was going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what the hell was going on with my hips I thought about the future and wondered how I would tell people about what I have been thru and then how, if I didn’t get better how much help I would actually need with a boyfriend/husband. I know that was thinking ahead but being the person I am and not knowing what my future holds I knew I had to have those conversations. How do you explain to someone what I have been thru? Still going thru? With a chance that my future might look differently than someone who doesn’t have hip issues. My life is different, my body is different, my heart, mind, soul are all different.

I am walking now and just this past Sunday I completed my first 5K. I am getting better. I am cautiously optimistic as I tell others but those thoughts from my past haven’t completely left my heart. I do wonder what he will think of my 15+ inch scars on each leg, or wonder if he will get it… or if for some reason I get bad again and I am unable to walk or have surgery or whatever can he handle it. Will he want to handle me? The thing is, I have always believed couples are a team and maybe there will be days that I need him more physically or emotionally but regardless I will always be there for him.. It may not be easy and he might have to carry me somewhere like the movie said but I do know that he will be carrying me in clean clothes and on a full tummy 🙂

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Simple Things…Post 29

Today was one of those days… I didn’t sleep well at all..My puppy Maxwell wanted to get up way to early…and then I was really sore from working out a lot lately… so i just really wanted to lay around all day but I told myself KATIE get out of bed and start your day! And that my friends is exactly what I did!!! I went to the gym and had a fabulous workout..it was arms day, my poor arms… Then ran a few errands. When I got home I decided I was going to fix my mirror wall in my bedroom and re-figure that out and then I thought while i am working I will move my fish tank into my bedroom! Which meant I had to completely empty it out, the fish were not happy about that but now they have a very clean tank!!! There is just something about the humming noise of a fish tank that is so relaxing to me! So while doing all of these tasks today I just kept thinking to myself of all the simple things in life that bring me so much happiness, the simple pleasures!! Life gets tiring or to hectic or just stressful.. its hard to see the simple things that make you happy…but I am choosing to see those things, to acknowledge them and enjoy them more! 🙂

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Window – Soul Mate… Post 26

So as I sat reading Eat Pray Love while I waited to get a new license I came across this passage in the book that sent my mind into a tail spin! It was crazy! I think the people around me probably thought I was nuts cuz I was circling things in the book and then adding info in my phone. Honestly they probably didn’t even notice but its fun to think that people actually are watching you as you sit and exist! J anyways the passage from the book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert goes a lil something like this…

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back. The person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into you life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for it.” (taken from page 149)

Woooooowww that’s is what I can say about that!!! This is why my brain has not been able to let it go since I read that page. Such a simple statement but packed with so much meaning behind it. Now I have a few different thoughts about it cuz initially I thought that soul mates were that human being existing out there in the universe that was your-you. Like the perfect romantic partner that was going to answer all your questions with the perfect answer, they would know exactly how to touch you, they would know how to deal with your every mood, and they instantly would know everything about you… Sounds like reality right!!!?!? Well probably not but we can only wish. So my next thought after reading is this.. What if we have more than one soul mate?! What if we have soul mates that are friends? Can a soul mate come in and go out of our lives? What if we have soul mates who are our same-sex? Or what if our soul mates are those strangers that see us more clearly than any one friend we have? So I guess where this has left me is the fact that I think there are a few different types of soul mates. Rather than having a soul mate who is my mirror- who sees my reflection in themselves, I rather have a soul mate who is my window- who can see all of me just by looking. I choose window!!!!!!

ps.. I am pretty sure I will expand on this writing and break apart all the different types of soul mates I think exist but here is where it starts!!! 🙂

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Happiness In words… Post 15

So a asked some friends a lil while back OK I am gonna be honest this was years ago but still it is applicable..asking them what makes them happy… What is going on the exact moment before you smile or better yet your heart smiles…Obviously the answers I received were amazing and I have tried to come up with a list of those answers.. some in one word answers and other in several words.. I thought it was great that many people had come up with the exact same answers so those were a must for my compilation!! I hope that while reading these they make you, stop, smile, and realize those things make you happy too!! Or better yet these answers make you think about how to be happy!! 🙂 So on that note here we gooooooooooooooooooooo…………..

Friends, Family, God,
Kisses on the for head,
Bright sunshine,
Breezy day,
People helping each other,
Certain songs,
My bed,
My dog,
Strangers who smile and say hello,
Dr. Pepper,
Going out with friends,
Your favorite university,
The beach,
A quaint coffee shop,
A good friend,
Resting my for head on their heart,
Listening to the sound of the acoustics of a guitar,
Good massages,
Mom or grandmothers cooking,
Kisses on the neck or ear,
Having someone make my bed,
Hearing I love you,
Hearing my name,
Smelling fresh cut grass,
People randomly checking me out,
Good books,
Sexy time,
Getting flowers delivered,
His cologne,
The moon,
The stars
Knowing that there is something out there,
A good movie,
Girlfriend or boyfriend,
Just knowing someone cares,
Laughing so hard you cry,
Nieces and nephews,
Chris Farely,
Knowing that your soul mate is somewhere,
Seeing that I have made a difference in just one persons’ life..

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Up!!…Post 14

So today I decided to take part of the weekly photo challenge!! Today’s topic is “Up” and whatever I interrupt that to be! I have chosen…. Palm Tree Beauty

This photo is from my trip to Cancun, Mexico this past September! We were laying out soaking up the sun rays and I saw this palm tree and decided to play with the light a lil to make the sun grab it a bit more of added effect!! It probably is one of my most favorite pics out of all 300 I took that week! I believe it fits the “Up” photo challenge for the week!! What you think!?!

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Landmarks (part 1)… Day 11

Landmarks (Part 1)
Get in that car. As you turn the key you look up at the mirrors looking. Out each window something catches you. You stop mid glance. You start to turn not just your head this time but the entire car movies drawing you into that familiar path. Each movement feels like you have done it before.
As the stop light in front of you turns red your heart stops mid beat. Its screaming stop, do not continue. So with that you turn down what you think is unfamiliar but with every crack of the pavement you realize you know this street too. Not because of the exact name on the street sign that you have memorized as if it was your own name. But realizing that the knowing comes from the surrounding buildings, places, landmarks. They all have such meaning. Every corner was touched by you physically or mentally, by greatness. No time restraints by the greatness yet so familiar like the lingering taste of sweet cold lemonade on a hot summer day. The building doors are open., inviting you in to explore. Explore the new old history.
You must go thru one landmark at a time, you must go in the order of the buildings as If they were in a row. In order to get to move to the next building you have to complete the prior building. If and only if completed you are granted permission to move on, to that next now open door.
Looking at each one you contemplate what each one means to those heart pains, and joys slowly weighing the consequences. I find no balance, no reassurance to make myself continue or even start into the first building. If I go in will I feel the same way when I leave about what happened.
I slam on the breaks. My heart starts to feel a surge of rage while gazing at a landmark off in the distance. So much anger, so many tears, so many fears followed by words that all seemed perfect at the time yet my mouth couldn’t make them be said out loud. Only my internal mind could say them in a language only my soul knows. Instead they remained in my soul pushed deep in the only space darkness resides. Only brought back to the light when my memories need to breathe, to believe.
I realize when I slammed on the brakes I was directly in front of a different building less familiarity as the others but there was some recognition. I want to go to that building. The one I always looked at . You know that one that had the undeniable pull on you. Like two magnets that have been tried to be separated but still remain in the control of the force placed on them by the universe. For reasons unknown but still that draw remains. That door is closed, I am reminded of the rules I must go through all the other places and feel those landmarks before I can or even if I discover what that building hold.

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