Tag Archives: heart

I was thinking about you…

So they say that where your mind wanders is where you are supposed to be… or maybe it’s those who wander into your mind are who is supposed to be in your life… or wait better yet if you want to see where your heart is see where your mind wanders …

Regardless those thoughts have me perplexed today because my mind wanders a lot… about a lot of different people from different times in my life… sometimes it stays on one person for a long time and then when those people are active in my life it usually lingers in and out until I see them again. If I haven’t had any contact with that person in awhile that’s when they always seem to stay on my mind for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s not good, bad, insignificant, significant, optimistic, pessimistic thoughts… it’s just there lingering in the deep folds of my brain… mind… and usually my soul.

From the movie Middle of Nowhere
“I was thinking about you…
was it good or bad…
it wasn’t either it was just you,
I was thinking of you.”

I often feel that way. Wanting to tell someone I was thinking of them but not thinking anything in particular. But then there natural response would be was it good or bad… and I would be compelled to give them an answer based on their suggestion but I would have to go with my truth and say.. it wasn’t either it was just me thinking of you…

The thing is… we become human by the thoughts and emotions that we feel, explore, and know. If we don’t actually do those exact things then we may never have a thought worth having about a person.

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Visually speaking…

I am not sure if I would be able to formulate the sentences that I would what want to recite to you. It would probably come out in a jumbled mess that most likely the ears of our hearts would only be able to understand. I don’t even know if I could look you in the eyes today… I think our eyes speak way more than our lips can ever begin to try. The eyes have a way about them that take on a whole different tone then any one vocal chords could produce. Maybe due to that very fact they don’t speak they simply just see. They are able to focus on things that may not be want to be viewed but unless covered by an outside force they see whatever is in front of them. The shapes, colors, love, hate, happiness, sadness, security, insecurities, hope and despair….



Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can’t escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

You can fall prey to a look, you can put trust in someone’s eyes, and at times you can read someone’s complete personality in their eyes. I was watching law and order SVU today, its Sunday so there is a marathon ALL DAY LONG, its perfect duh!… anyways they were commenting on how some had shifty eyes or could tell if someone was lying by them looking down or over to a certain direction. I don’t know if I could judge them by the location they shift their eyes but I do know there is so much to be said about someone’s eyes. Keeping eye contact when talking to someone it keeps you engaged and focused but there are those times when you have to look away during an emotional conversation or almost look past that person due to the fear that my eyes might actually form words. Maybe you aren’t ready for the “visual” words that your eyes can produce, maybe those words are to much for that certain situation… so you turn away.. look off to the darkness in hopes the person didn’t take note of the lingering words on the tips of your lashes that are wanting to be said but you refrain…

Curtain’s call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you’ve made

Don’t wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don’t wanna hide the truth

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Just a lil something… Day 2

Love this and it kinda explains how I have been feeling for a few days!!


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the heart


 by Katie, November 20, 2007 

Your heart needs things to survive it needs, blood, it needs to be able to pump, it needs to trust, it needs oxygen, it needs to be able to give away the love that it has, it needs to know that its going to be ok… 

 When it comes to a medical explanation the heart has a very specific function… it takes blood and exchanges the gases and makes it were the body can use the blood to supply the other organs and muscle. If this doesn’t happen the body can not function and we will begin to lose many life sustaining tools …. This in turn creates a huge problem for our body. But by keeping this perfect balance everything is supplied with oxygen rich blood, other gases are exchanged, and the muscles can work properly.

When it comes to existing the heart needs to be loved as well as give blood. It cant always give love and never feel like it is getting any in return. Just like the systems of the body they all have to work together to make a complete cycle for the heart. The lungs and the heart work together to make this amazing complex that allows you to breath in oxygen and then transfer it from you lungs then join up with your heart and then gets pumped and then the blood that now has another gas gets released so that the cycle can be repeated…  this amazing cycle is so comparable to the act of loving someone.

When you begin to first love someone its as if you are pulling in that oxygen and it has to go thru the whole system… sometimes its so hard to begin that process.. You are afraid of rejection, or afraid that they might not even know you exist, or worse you know that they will never feel that way. Your love has to go thru a process… it has to work thru so many things as if it is going thru your body attaching itself to the blood vessels and then travels from the lungs to the heart and begins to be transformed and then used thru your whole body supplying the means to continue on. The blood can not just stop it has to continue down the paths via the veins or arteries, exactly like your love. If the system stops, if the blood is no more, if that common steady heart beat that has existed between the two souls is no longer heard… then your heart will stop.. it will stay stopped until you have something that revives it… something or someone that says you need to pump again, you need to love again, you need to start the cycle over again….. pushing, loving and realizing that the perfect cycle will continue. The theory is to maintain a fine balance between the two systems… between the lungs and the heart…between the love and the hate… between the anger and calmness… between you and him…

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