dont feel good still getting to the gym..Day 5

I don’t feel good today and haven’t been feeling good for a few days now. I am sure it is a combination of some major lack of sleep lately and going and going and going! But every second was worth it! I have only gone thru two boxes of kleenex, a package of halls, and half way thru my z pack from the doc! 🙂 Even though I have been feeling really crappy I have made myself go to the gym! I got in really great workout late last night and one this morning which is probably why I almost have to roll out of bed cuz my abs are so sore! HaHa that’s the best kind of sore tho when you have pushed your poor little muscles!! I probably wont be able to sit up tomorrow morning but the rolling method works just as good! HAHA And I am determined to get my body right ASAP!! SO if I have to be sore and struggle to get out of bed then that is what it takes!!

and I leave you with a quote from Oprah…”Where there is no struggle, there is no strength!” -Oprah

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Why I write…Day 4

So I was at target to by shampoo and conditioner well I got a bit distracted at all the notebooks and pens! Yes I said pens.. As you can see by my blog title I love pens.. I even have on my bucket list to find the most perfect pen.. I already found my most fav blanket and that is my North Carolina Tarheels blanket!! love it!!

Anyways moving on.. I found this notebook and thought this is perfect!!!!!! So her is a photo of it! It’s so simple yet for me as a wanna be writer it speaks volume! Kinda makes you think too.. So Enjoy..Think.. WRITE!!!!!

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Thank you doesn’t describe…Day 3

You might be seeing a trend going here with me including “days ” with the titles of my postings well I am really going to try and post a lil something everyday. It might be pictures.. .quotes… stories… weather… I mean really you get the point!!! So if you have a topic or thought you wish me to expand on or answer let me know and I would be honored to include it!!!

Now onto today’s post… As we start this brand new year I was thinking how grateful and thankful I am for every individual I have in my life right now… I have been thinking a lot lately about the contributions and support each person has on me, my spirit, my thoughts and my heart. It’s a good feeling to know that a friend is only a phone call or text away from me!! And in the same way I am just a phone call or text away from being there for you!! So with this new year rely on those people in your life that matter to you!!!! Be honest, be helpful, be kind, be supportive and most of all be fun!!!!!

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Just a lil something… Day 2

Love this and it kinda explains how I have been feeling for a few days!!

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To Luxor and Back!…Day 1

So I went to Vegas this past week and i am going to do a few for real blog postings about the actual trip but I thought some pics would be fun to show while I write the others!!! So here a few just to get you excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Grateful and thankful…Post 36

So I wasn’t feeling well yesterday and I am still not feeling well but I wanted to stop for a second and try to put together a small list of things I am so very thankful for this holiday season! Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that make us stop, pause and remember all of the things in our lives that we have been blessed with. While I am grateful and thankful for things every moment of my life this holiday makes me really say exactly what I am grateful and thankful for. I make myself think about all the things that I am so honored to have and be apart of that others don’t have.. Its humbling, encouraging and makes me want to live every day to the fullest. SOOOOOOOOOOOO without further ado, in no particular order, here is my list for now…(it grows and grows with every breath I take) …

I am thankful and so very grateful for…
~My Mom and Daddy who have given much, encourage always, and support to infinite and beyond J!
~My brothers and sisters who never cease to amaze me in the love, support and laughter we all share!
~My family that have stuck by me thru my many ups and downs no matter the depth or height!
~The amazing doctors and physical therapists who refused to give up on me!
~My personal strength!
~My puppy Maxwell!
~My never ending tenacity to get up every day take a shower ,and say I will push thru whatever my hips have to offer !
~People who call me beautiful
~My new car, whose name is yet to be finalized options are Blanche or Ali the altima!
~God because He has ordered every one of my steps even when I wasn’t sure what they are He knows!
~The passion people have for life!
~My home!
~The opportunity to travel and work with my extended family!
~The ability to love and be loved !
~My dvr!
~My creativity!
~Discovering what this next year has for me!
~Appreciating the beauty in the small things!
~The patience I have been taught over the last 10 years of my life!
~The possibility of jobs!
~My amazing set of friends who never cease to amaze me at the support and love they give no matter how near or far they might be!!!!
~And lastly… I am so very thankful that after basically four years I can walk, run, leap, drive, and the most important one of all DANCE with my own two hips basically pain free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So responsible… Post 35

To My dear iphone and others…

Responsibility. I have unfairly given you the responsibility of talking to me everyday. Not that I have or will have anything important to say to you. But by having someone talk to me it will make me feel important and feel like someone cares. Yes this is based on feelings and not actual facts. By doing this I know I have unfairly made you partially responsible for my mood and feelings for that day. Which obviously is ridiculous but for some reason it just seems to work in my mind or at least seems like a temporary solution. While you did not ask for this job you some how seem to fit the mold and requirements. So please enjoy and bring me plenty of joy today!

Sincerely,
Me

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Can he handle it…Post 34

So once again I have been going back and forth about writing this entry because it hits really close to home but I cannot escape the idea of it from my daily thoughts so here it goes……There is a movie called ‘Love and Other Drugs” which just came out on demand cable if you are a time warner cable customer but anyways.. This movie hit me so hard. My friend Amy and I rented it one night. After we got the greatest dinner we popped it in the dvd player. I wasn’t sure what the story line was about but I knew that it probably somehow involved Love and Drugs, little did I know that this movie had a TON of Lovin and a TON of drugs all legal of course! I do have to admit if you wish to watch a movie were people are fully clothed then this is not your movie of choice but regardless the story line is amazing… I am not going to give away the movie plot incase you want to see it but the part that is relatable to my life was towards the end of the movie. Anna Hathaway is the main actress in the movie and she has a medical condition which affects every aspect of her life. I mean EVERY aspect. So to jump a ton of the plot there is a part were she is speaking to the guy, Jamie, and the conversation is getting intense between the two because she is explaining how she can’t ask him to stay with her and be there when she knows she needs a lot of help. And he says to her but you aren’t asking me, I am telling you that I will be there regardless. She then continues to argue with him going back and forth, and she hits him with this comment… “I am going to need you a lot more than you are going to need me.” And he says its okay and then says “Instead of us going places I will be carrying you so we can go.” Now to the average person you might think awww that was sweet, well for someone who has thought those same thoughts it hit me like a ton of bricks. I normally don’t cry in movies at all but this time was way different..

When I was down, not the first time but this last time for 6 years, the worst time. I had some of those same thoughts. I knew exactly those words that the characters in the movie were saying. At one time or another I think I actually had that conversation in my head… my emotions playing both the actor and actresses roles. When I was going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what the hell was going on with my hips I thought about the future and wondered how I would tell people about what I have been thru and then how, if I didn’t get better how much help I would actually need with a boyfriend/husband. I know that was thinking ahead but being the person I am and not knowing what my future holds I knew I had to have those conversations. How do you explain to someone what I have been thru? Still going thru? With a chance that my future might look differently than someone who doesn’t have hip issues. My life is different, my body is different, my heart, mind, soul are all different.

I am walking now and just this past Sunday I completed my first 5K. I am getting better. I am cautiously optimistic as I tell others but those thoughts from my past haven’t completely left my heart. I do wonder what he will think of my 15+ inch scars on each leg, or wonder if he will get it… or if for some reason I get bad again and I am unable to walk or have surgery or whatever can he handle it. Will he want to handle me? The thing is, I have always believed couples are a team and maybe there will be days that I need him more physically or emotionally but regardless I will always be there for him.. It may not be easy and he might have to carry me somewhere like the movie said but I do know that he will be carrying me in clean clothes and on a full tummy 🙂

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Weekly photo challenge: hidden post #33

So this weeks photo challenge is Hidden and I searched for a picture that I liked to fit this category and I love my choice!!!! So without further ado..

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More than all the fishies in the sea!! Post 32

I love you more than all the fishies I’n the sea!!! fish!!!! Especially in a fish tank! And that my friends is what I have! It used to be in my living space but it didn’t get the attention it needed so I moved it to my bedroom were I can enjoy it a lot more! Only three fish were left after the move so today we went and got some more!! You kinda can see in the picture some of them swimming around but they are small! Hopefully they will grow and can post more pics!! I even got two shrimp which are so fun but they like to hide! I was able to get two jet black fish who are beautiful! They like to hide behind the rocks but they might warm up to the fact that I will love them and take care of them! Haha I’m thinking about naming them! Suggestions?!?!

My title came from the Anna Nicole Smith show when she is talking to her family. Someone says “I love you more than all the fishies in the sea” and Anna Nicole says “that much me to also”!!! Hysterical right?!? Anyways I found it wickedly appropriate for this post!!

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