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Simple Connections

Simple connections
How can one feel so much emotions for any one passion, any one person or any one thing so instantly…. Traces of those existences stay with you for a very long indeterminable amount time. Beyond the pain, beyond being lost in time, beyond lost in the ruble of a physical displacement, the things often times been thrown away like a simple piece of trash… The memory still remains… Remains in our heart… the mind and most fortunate and unfortunate place is in the very depth of our soul…

Things, people, places all come and go and after a simple connection made thru the most random moments it all comes rushing back to you before you even know it… You can’t stop it, you try to change your minds subject, your souls very own reaction to the memory but it’s too late. It’s there sitting in front of you like a human being… Starring at you telling you it’s okay to remember me, think about me, dream of me… Looking at you as if you can get up and walk away from it all.. But unlike a inanimate object you can’t walk away it’s there traveling following you like a shadow but its not behind you it’s in you, deep inside.

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the unwritten rule of “Must by this age…..”

The unwritten rule of “Must by this age”…

Graduate by 18.
Out of college in 4 years.
Married by 25.
House with white picket fence 2 kids and 1 dog by 28.

Does age, gender or circumstances put undo pressures on people and why…
I am beginning to wonder if anyone is supposed to accomplish tasks or things by a certain age because society thinks they should or if its actually what people want to do. I was presented with the question to myself really that at what age do adults need to have a job or be married or have kids. Is turning a year older bring certain requirements that society thinks are past due. I for one did not do anything according to timing of “the world.” Due to my hips I didn’t finish college in four years, didn’t have a job right out of school, still lived with my parents for a good four years, made zero income. According to society, and outsiders perspective i was not doing the natural progression of life. I remember when I was in grade school the challenge among young people was to graduate from high school. Then it progressed to you must go to college… I feel like in 5-8 yrs its going to be the status quo to get your masters. Jobs will require it if you would like to achieve more then an entry level job. This ladder of what you must achieve does not stop with jobs or education. It continues into your personal life as well.

I remember me and my sisters thought how we all would be married and pregnant by at least 25. Well I can say that didn’t happen for two of the three of us. We are all approaching our early thirties and only one is married and had her first child. Shows like 16 and pregnant are watched by thousands of viewers watching as these 16 year olds have a baby and start their adult life at a very young age. Very young age. I can only think if that was kids thinking they had to hurry and get their life going because they didn’t want the career route as I mentioned before.

Expectations for ones life shouldn’t be based on any factors then what you as an individual experience. Life does not go the same direction for any two people. And quite possibly if you could rewind and live your life again I promise you probably wouldn’t live it the same way either. Be encouraged by the journey. Be encouraged that you get 1 life and you get to make your choices and decisions by what you like, want and possibly need. A text book or manuscript does not exist for how your life should play out. There in lies the beauty of life.

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dont feel good still getting to the gym..Day 5

I don’t feel good today and haven’t been feeling good for a few days now. I am sure it is a combination of some major lack of sleep lately and going and going and going! But every second was worth it! I have only gone thru two boxes of kleenex, a package of halls, and half way thru my z pack from the doc! 🙂 Even though I have been feeling really crappy I have made myself go to the gym! I got in really great workout late last night and one this morning which is probably why I almost have to roll out of bed cuz my abs are so sore! HaHa that’s the best kind of sore tho when you have pushed your poor little muscles!! I probably wont be able to sit up tomorrow morning but the rolling method works just as good! HAHA And I am determined to get my body right ASAP!! SO if I have to be sore and struggle to get out of bed then that is what it takes!!

and I leave you with a quote from Oprah…”Where there is no struggle, there is no strength!” -Oprah

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My bucket list.. Post 21

The post-a-day challenge topic yesterday was to write your bucket list as a post! Well I wanted to post pics yesterday so I figured I would do my bucket list today! I compiled this list a few years back and continue to add. It is a random mix of “must-do” items that have been given up due to my crazy hips or just other things that caught my attention either seeing them on a movie, or read about them or really anything that I thought “oh Katie HAS to do this!” SO here we go…
1- Travel to every continent
2- Finish my book I am writing titled, The Perfect Glass
3- Find the most perfect pen
4- To walk without assistance
5- To run a 5K
6- To drive a car again
7- Go on a complete PAIN free vacation
8- Help a complete stranger
9- Find a book and start collecting all different editions/copies/versions made of it
10- Take a weekend trip someplace cold for a “writing weekend”
11- Make a collage of pictures I have taken of flowers and other photography art
12- Go to my 10 year high school reunion
13- Actually serve as a jury member
14- Find the most ironic piece of anything photograph it and frame it
15- Own a thousand movies
16- Plant a wall of bamboo
17- Go see the real pyramids
18- Take a gondola ride
19- Go white water rafting
20- Know Love
21- Love a child as my own
22- Find myself

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From bark to Cupid shuffle….day 9

As we flipped thru the what seemed to feel like the never-ending list of on demand movies we came across two that were absolute must see! Now when I say must sees I mean they looked like movies that fit our mood for this evening! We had run our errands, got dinner which was so very yummy and now we were ready to sit back a d enjoy a few girly movies! First movie on the list is the Adam Sandler-Jennifer Anniston combo in “Just go with it” definitely a cute movie and I would gladly see again, but if you know me then you know that isn’t a surprise me watching movies over and over again! In middle school I was stuck on the movie “That thing you do” for literally like two Years. I would watch a lil bit of it every night! It was greatness! Anyways the second movie as called “Jumping the broom” and it was centered around a wedding which is perfect for this weekend seeing that is the whole reason I am in town, for a lovely bridal shower! So anyways this movie was set in Martha’s vineyard which was beautiful scenery and don’t even get me started talking about all the beautiful scenery of the male cast members cuz wow!!I kept thinking to myself I wonder what it would be like to have been on this set…. Pretty sure I would have forgotten every single line of text I was supposed to say in this movie!!!!! Complete lack of focus!!! So anyways I am getting carried away… The ending to the movie was perfect and all the story lines came together which is exactly how great love stories are supposed to go….especially when the bride gets carried away by her man!! And to top it off there was dancing!!!! L.O.V.E. Dancing!!!!!! Especially at weddings!! All in all it was a stellar night…

*****and ps for those of you that are noticing this post getting posted after 12:00am I have a good excuse!!! My fabulous excuse is that I had the topic and text already written in my head but just didn’t have it typed up to post within my 24hrs sooooooo I win!!! 🙂

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I think I love you…BACON…Day 8

This probably won’t come as a surprise really to anyone but i love bacon!!!! And i might have already posted about my chocolate bacon candy that my friend amy got me but here goes another one!!! Ironically when i got to Wichita falls today my dear friend Miranda brought up the topic of bacon so I figured this would be a great blog topic for tonight!! Little did I know that there is quite a following of bacon lovers!!! I simply googled facts on bacon and I got a ton of results!! So I challenge you to go google bacon and see all the crazy results on wonderful desserts, crazy clothing and even bandaids that are made to look like bacon!!!! Not to sure about the bacon and mushroom cheesecake but I think I would try it minus the mushrooms!! So go to the store,

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scrambled letters…Day 6

Tell you something

I need to tell you something. The difference between my brain and heart is the reality that what I need to tell you might not come out straight. I would try to form words from letters. These letters are scrambled like letter magnets scattered on the front of a refrigerator. Seldom are they formed into more that one word at a time, so tell me how I am I supposed to take all the scattered letters, thoughts, and words to form what I want to say.

My mind doesn’t believe what my heart of heart is telling me. Rather than trusting that I will proceed with caution. Heart stops. Stops so suddenly that I am stunned, unable to regain balance almost to the extreme of falling to the ground.

I need to tell you something, but rather than listen to my words, listen to my heart. It speaks the language that can only be understood by the bump, bump, bump of your own heart.

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Must be the lyrics…Day 3

As I woke up today I noticed it was darker than normal outside and for Texas this is not a common occurrence. In fact we haven’t had rain in FOREEEEEVVVEEERRRR (yes that was a word reference from the movie The Sandlot). I quickly looked out the window and there was rain drops falling from the sky!!! It was greatness! We have had almost 40 days straight above 100 degrees which is basically like saying everyday is 1-0-HELL!!!!! Way to hott! So I continued my morning making a yummy breakfast which fit just right within my weight watcher points and I enjoyed every bite of it. I knew I had some time to kill so I grabbed my phone, my computer, my iPod shuffle, and quickly began lining up my song list I wanted to download! My list was quite long due to the lack of funds lately that could be spent on new music but today I was lucky and had a iTunes gift card!

When I find music I want to download it isn’t because I’ve been following a band on twitter or heard the song on a late night talk show. It’s simply because of words… Normally they come from my sister Meg, or something that my Dad had on a record album, yes I said album, that caught my ear. I love words, I love listening to an entire song just to find a quote that I want to write about. Or hear those lyrics that make me go “Duh Katie that is exactly what you have been trying to say for weeks!!!” It’s invigorating, it’s moving and just so damn obvious sometimes!!!

The rain has that same effect on me.. The rain drops take on a certain rhythm and combining them with other outside objects they can turn into a whole melody that can be listened to for hours. As with any rhythm you can add words and before you know it that simple Saturday morning waking up is now a song of beats and words written without hesitation, fear, and with love, joy and imagination!!

What does your song say….what lyrics have you been trying to get out but simply just need a rhythmn!?!

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good news…No, GREAT NEWS!!!

I have been procrastinating in posting an update about me and my lovely hips. Honestly it a has been for a few different reasons that at the time sounded for real but now kinda sounds dumb but if you know me I can rationalize anything!! Haha anyways..My other fear is that I will somehow lose all of the progress I have made a be in a so much pain I would regret even mentioning my position or progress. But Katie doesn’t do fear when it comes to my hips. I have been taught thru the years that being cautiously optimistic will make life worth living!!! It has shown me that life is scary, choices are made, outcomes of the unknown, people lost along the way, dreams felt diminished but still..still I push forward.
I met with my doctor yesterday and I was so pumped cuz I was walking in on my own two legs without any aluminum parts assisting me!! I was able to tell him I am almost off all my medication which at on point was over 16 prescription pills in a day. Which looking back is just crazy but it is what I had to do at the time to continue the journey! So back to the doctor, he walked in and asked where are your crutches ? To that question I said the most beautiful five words that have ever come out of my mouth… I said “I don’t need them anymore” I had that feeling in my tummy like when you remember a fond memory, or the feeling people might feel when they realize they just won the lottery. Today I won the lottery. I know what it feels like to leave a doctor’s appointment and want to go hide under a rock because the outlook looks so grim that nothing would make me want to be anyplace else besides by the rock. But today I don’t need the rock, I can smile, my heart can smile.
Back to the doc appt, my doctor was commenting on my progress and said that “I” did all of the work. He said all he did was flip around our views at the time and how I have gained miles and miles of distance from those days. And how for once I was able to try a different method besides surgery and for the first time in a very long time it has worked. I will be the first to admit I do not accept compliments very well AT ALL. I usually end up brushing it off or return a compliment, but today and right now I am trying to take it all in about my journey with these hips. People always refer to me as being strong, courageous, or someone who refuses to give up. For some reason I never believed it. But something clicked in the docs office today when he looked me in the eyes and said you have done the work. Even when it was so very hard and my entire body was yelling at me and starting to shut down there was something in me wanting to say no, and with that no I was able to push back even harder against those two letters… n…o..!
So my encouraging thoughts that I used to tell, well I still tell myself are to live everyday to the fullest and that’s for real! Life can change at the blink of an eye life is hard and can be scary but you have what it takes! And I like to think of myself as a prime example. I have not walked in almost 5 years and within a little less than a year I have pun in the time, effort, and tenacity to get better. As of my most recent physical therapy session I walked for 45 min on the alter G treadmill with a 2% incline, with 95% of my body weight, followed by my other therapy appt for an hour and half of abs, back, leg rehab with treadmill work, weight training, proprioception and just starting more sport specific drills. I have never been so tired and covered in sweat and wanting a full body ice bath but STILL loving every minute of it! I have been extremely diligent with weight watchers and counting my points daily and weekly and if I can steal a saying from Jennifer Hudson, “weight watchers because it works”! Since the end of March I have lost 19.3lbs and I plan for that number to continue to keep going up so my weight can keep going down!
So next time when you feel like you can’t do it or just want to say no, think of me and with a huge enthusiastic tone say YES! And then if you need a pep talk call me and I will have one ready just for you!!!! Lastly, I would like to say the biggest thank you and send the biggest hugs and kisses to my entire family and all my friends who have helped me get to this HUGE MILESTONE in my life. Without all the support and love I would still be under that rock!!! I cannot wait to see where the step with the new-old Katie goes from here!!! Now…who is ready for that 5K!?!?!?!?!?…………………

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